the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
