Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
