You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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