Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize