even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
