11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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