Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize