She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Randomize
