in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Still dying that you shit outside
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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