So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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