Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
