ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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