I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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