I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
