I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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