Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
handjob tips. give me some.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
