I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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