Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
