OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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