girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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