I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
