Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
