As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
