is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
