and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
