in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
