dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
