How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
