Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
