ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
