It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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