my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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