I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
