Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
