So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
