hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
