It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
