it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
