Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
