we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Rumble strips road head = magical
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
