This girl is more easily done than said...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
