I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize
