I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
