Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
