i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
