I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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