I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
