ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
