Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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