physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
