i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
babies were throwing up all over the place
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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