Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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