Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
love makes seman taste better
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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