so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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