We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
