I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
