I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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