Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
