I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
