um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
