Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
