Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it hurts more in the daytime
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
