she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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