Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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