How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
