You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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