I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize