my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
this boner is exhausting
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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