I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
